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    兒童本來是“玩”童

    發布時間:2019-06-06 作者:本報記者 楊詠梅 來源:中國教育報

    “玩耍的能力是心智健康的主要評判標準之一”,這是上世紀70年代美國人類學及心理學博士阿什利·蒙塔古的觀點。研究發現,自由玩耍、角色扮演、嬉戲打鬧等創造性活動是孩子健康生活的核心活動,對孩子的認知發展、社會情感能力和社交能力都非常重要。兒童真正的快樂和刻苦精神就表現在觀察、幻想、創作、游戲和自由的表達等忙碌的過程中,自由玩耍不僅有消除焦慮、緩解壓力的作用,玩耍中培養的專注力、創造性思維和解決問題的能力,還能遷移到兒童今后的學習中。

    6月1日晚,中國教育報家庭教育公開課“今天,我們怎樣做父母”首次播出,特別邀請中國青少年研究中心家庭教育首席專家孫云曉、清華大學附屬小學知名班主任趙麗娜做客直播間,回憶童年往事,暢議幸福童年。“50后”的孫云曉、“60后”的主持人和“80后”的趙麗娜,不約而同地將話題聚焦到兒童觀上。今天怎樣做父母,取決于以怎樣的兒童觀對待兒童,取決于如何定義幸福的童年。

        認識自由玩耍的重要價值

    每個人都有一份童年的記憶,深刻而純粹,帶著聲音、味道和氣息。

    身為研究員的孫云曉,當過老師、記者,寫了5本長篇小說、40多本家庭教育著作,1993年創作的報告文學《夏令營中的較量》引發全國素質教育大討論,用今天的網絡語言來形容,儼然一枚“斜杠青年”。回憶起童年,在青島長大的孫云曉眉飛色舞地分享了兩個畫面:“一個畫面是在月光下,我們蹚著海水,左手拿著嗄斯燈,噗噗地噴火,右手拿著鋼叉,叉向快速游動的螃蟹和魚。另一個畫面是跟著大哥哥們打野兔,‘左牽黃、右擎蒼’,發現獵物就把鷹的眼罩拿下來,把鷹撒出去,老鷹在空中盤旋幾圈朝著目標俯沖下來,我們在草叢中奔跑著轟趕獵物,驚天動地。”

    在江蘇農村長大的趙麗娜有關童年的回憶滿溢著花香:“那時基本上家家戶戶有院子,都會種上梔子花。我們一大早就裝上滿滿一口袋花,分給小朋友,整個教室都是香的。到了晚上,我們再摘一大把梔子花放在蚊帳里、枕頭邊,枕著梔子花甜甜的香味入眠。這個畫面在我的腦海里一直揮之不去,帶著小女孩的浪漫情思,讓人感到生活還可以這樣文藝而美好。”

    盡管兩位嘉賓的描述呈現的童年都充滿盡情玩耍的自由、快樂,然而當今的兒童面對的是激烈競爭的環境,童年時光承擔了太多的課業負擔、競爭壓力和攀比焦慮,仿佛有上不完的培訓班、寫不完的作業,孩子們真正能夠自己支配的時間少之又少。

    根據以色列學者莎拉·斯米蘭斯基的研究,隨心所欲的玩耍能讓孩子擁有更好的認知創造力、更佳的言語表達、更豐富的詞匯、更好的語言理解力、更好的解決能力、更強的好奇心、更好的從另一個角度看問題的能力、更高的智力、更好的社會情感活動能力,使孩子更好地與同齡人玩耍、更多地參與集體活動,讓孩子減少攻擊行為、更富有同情心、更有效地克制沖動行為、更好地預測他人的喜好和欲望,讓孩子擁有更佳的情緒和社交調整能力、更富有創新、更富有想象、注意力持續時間更長、更具責任感……而童年“沒有玩夠”的孩子,社交、情感和認知能力的發展都會受到影響。

    孫云曉認為,童年就應該大量地玩耍,玩耍能夠讓孩子獲得直接的體驗。如果把孩子封閉起來,沒有直接的體驗,培養以上這些能力是不可能的。他還補充道:“玩是分層次的,低年級的孩子玩的,和高年級孩子不一樣,到了五六年級和初中,玩的內容更高級一些,更具刺激性和探險性,需要家長陪伴和規劃。但是不管怎樣,玩是童年不可改變的必需,甚至是一輩子的事情。”

        涵養兒童友好的教育生態

    由此看來,玩耍的價值遠遠大于上一兩個培訓班,這個觀點今天的家長能夠接受嗎?趙麗娜說自己“內心很認可,但現實很無奈”,面對學習任務的壓力,做父母的要學會權衡玩耍和學習的關系,而如何權衡,關鍵在于父母的兒童觀是不是“兒童友好”的。

    1996年,聯合國人居會議上指出,兒童的福祉是健康人居、民主社會和良好管理的終極指標。不論是大城市、中等城市、小城市或者社區,在公共事務中都應該給予兒童政治優先權,將兒童納入決策體系中。這就是兒童友好城市建設的概念。

    孫云曉將此概念延伸到教育生態中,他認為父母和老師、學校和家庭都應該做到兒童友好。“大部分父母是非常愛孩子的,但要經常反思自己的行為是不是真的對孩子好,是否對兒童友好。”

    孫云曉舉例說,走在路上,父母一高興就把孩子背著走,看上去很親密、很友好,但沒有顧及孩子剛開始學走路時愿意走路的需要,還有的家長追著孩子喂飯,有的孩子

    已經四五歲了父母還會喂給他吃。“其實,小孩子基本上1歲左右就可以自己吃飯,想吃什么就自己拿什么吃。自主進食的過程很愉悅,而被喂飯就有被強迫吃飯的感覺,對兒童并不友好。”

    清華大學附屬小學算不算兒童友好校園呢?趙麗娜自豪地說:“清華附小有一句人人耳熟能詳的話,即‘兒童站立在學校正中央’。本著這一理念,基于兒童的天資性情,我們設置了三個年段進階課程:低年段激發興趣,基礎牢;中年段培養樂趣,腰桿硬;高年段砥礪志趣,起點高。從興趣到樂趣到志趣,努力讓兒童在豐富的體驗中將志向付諸實踐,朝著自己的目標付出努力。這是我們作為教育者給予兒童的友好。”

    在家庭教育環境中,趙麗娜認為兒童友好就意味著陪伴孩子。“現在的生活節奏太快,很多家長工作很忙,可能認為對孩子的陪伴和教育就是提供豐富的物質基礎,該報的班報了,該買的玩具都買了,就算完成任務了。實際上,孩子的成長更需要情感的陪伴,家長需要根據孩子不同年齡段的特點給予適當的陪伴和交流。”

    趙麗娜說自己班上有個孩子特別喜歡研究地鐵,經常從起點坐到終點,再換一條線路,觀察研究,樂此不疲。家長非常支持孩子的興趣,周末帶著孩子一起坐地鐵。現在孩子已經把北京甚至全國的地鐵線熟記腦海,成了地鐵知識小專家,并且開始將興趣延伸到了鐵路。

    孫云曉說:“在家庭教育中涵養兒童友好的教育生態,就是父母了解孩子、發現孩子的興趣,鼓勵孩子通過豐富的感官體驗去發展自己的潛能,給予孩子充分的陪伴和支持。”

        保護幸福童年該有的樣子

    幸福童年應該什么樣?兩位嘉賓不約而同地提到了“玩”這個關鍵詞。

    孫云曉認為,童年幸福的孩子一定是一個玩童,是一個很愛玩、很會玩的人,是一種充滿興趣、生機勃勃的狀態。

    他舉例說:“孩子在玩耍的過程中可以收獲許多良好的品質。北師大著名的心理學家陳會昌教授,對200多個孩子從2歲跟蹤研究19年,發現具有兩種品質的孩子發展最理想。第一種是主動性強,第二種是自制力強。主動性強的孩子好玩,有興趣、有愛好、有追求、有夢想,能把潛能釋放出來;自制力強則說明孩子有自我控制力、能夠遵守規則。特別在體育運動中,不遵守規則根本就沒法玩。所以主動性和自制力是健康人格的核心要素。”

    趙麗娜認為,幸福的童年應該是健康、陽光、樂學的。清華附小秉持“無體育,不清華;無體育,不成志”的理念,48個班成立了96支球隊,“人人踢足球、班班有球隊、男女齊上陣”。在清華附小校長竇桂梅心中,幸福童年的樣子是“皮膚黑、牙齒白、眼睛亮、有力量”。主持人補充說:“還有‘腰板直、笑容多’。”

    對于有的家長認為“孩子有一個幸福的童年,就會有一個悲慘的中年和老年”的言論,孫云曉反駁道:“童年是人一生的發動機,童年既可以制造苦難也可以鑄造幸福。幸福的童年是一生幸福的源頭,悲慘的童年是悲慘人生的開端。”

    孫云曉說他一直難忘冰心老人的兩句話,“淘氣的男孩是好的,淘氣的女孩是巧的”。他深有感觸地說:“兒童是成人之父,童年是心靈的故鄉,童年影響著人的一生。我們要做的,就是讓孩子在童年時玩得痛快,打開各種感官,獲得豐富的體驗,讓童年儲存滿滿的能量,這樣的孩子一生才是幸福的、有作為的。”

    《中國教育報》2019年06月06日第9版 

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