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    先做一個孩子,再去做老師

    發布時間:2019-06-19 作者:溫爾虹 來源:中國教育新聞網-《人民教育》雜志

    女兒上幼兒園時,有一次母親節,老師為了進行感恩教育,叮囑小朋友們回家后都要給媽媽洗一次腳。那天,孩子到家特別興奮,從放學就一直惦記洗腳的事,我忙著各種雜事,她每隔一會兒就過來問一遍:“媽媽,可以洗腳了嗎?”孩子那認真又充滿期待的神情,有一種凈化心靈的力量。終于可以洗腳了,她肉肉的小手在我腳上摸來摸去,像滑溜溜的小魚兒在游動,她同時笑嘻嘻地仰臉注視著我。我問好玩嗎,她笑著點頭,那表情里有得償心愿的滿足感。無疑,這對她是很新鮮有趣的體驗。

    后來過了很長時間,有一次,我逗她玩:“寶貝,一會兒再給媽媽洗洗腳吧。”不想她斷然回絕:“我才不給你洗呢,今天又不是母親節!”我拖長聲“啊噢”一下,朝她做個鬼臉兒,嘴里嘟噥著失落感:“那好吧,以后我就母親節那天是你媽媽嘍!”她聽了感覺特別委屈,一著急竟然“哇”的一聲哭了出來……

    孩子回絕時,是那樣理直氣壯,委屈時又是那么無辜。我的一句玩笑,在她感覺起來就是受了大人欺負。一次感恩教育,在我們家就落實成了這個版本。女兒把一次孝親、感恩的教育理解成了一次游戲,因為游戲的內容新奇,讓她覺得好玩,洗媽媽的腳就和她玩泥巴、挖土、捉蟲子一樣,好玩才是對她最大的意義。而對我來說,那一刻我也快樂著她的快樂,返老還童一般舒暢,無論如何母女關系倒是更親密了一些,至于老師期待的感恩方面的教育效果是沒有出來的,最終,這個活動的效果也如一般的親子游戲。為什么會這樣?這里面的一個重要問題是老師并沒有走進孩子的心靈去設計活動和課程,教學內容與教學目標上有太多的想當然。

    孩子的心靈是什么樣的?與我們成年人的距離有多遠?有很多時候,他們會比我們更感性、更善良。

    日本的古川千勝寫過一個小故事《其實有錢人可能很窮》,講一個非常有錢的人把兒子送到鄉下,想讓兒子體驗貧窮的生活。但兒子從鄉下回家后卻說:“我們家籠子里只有一只小鳥,農家有狗和牛,還有好多只小鳥”“我們家雖然有游泳池,可是那里有看不見盡頭的河流”“我們家有明亮的電燈,可是那些人晚上有滿天的星星”“我們有仆人的服侍,而那些人是在為別人服務”“我們花錢買食物,而那些人是自己種植”“我們家四周有保護我們的圍墻,但是那些人有保護他們的朋友”。兒子的回答讓父親無言以對,兒子接著說:“爸爸,謝謝你讓我知道我們是多么貧窮。”

    孩子的很多視角與我們不同,有時會讓我們大吃一驚,孩子的眼睛和心靈明亮而清澈,對世界的認識,僅依靠直覺和感性思維就能從最平凡的事物中感知神奇與美好。但另一方面,也是因為他們的思維簡單,僅憑有限的人生經驗,推理等思維工具也沒有完全形成,常常會誤解我們的教育材料。

    在談到勇敢品質的教育時,盧梭在《愛彌兒》中舉過一個例子:老師給學生講歷史,說亞力山大帝王生病,當他接過醫生給的藥時,有人從旁遞過紙條,上面警告他醫生已被收買,當心被害。亞力山大看后將紙條交給醫生并讓他念出來,在醫生念紙條的同時,他把藥一飲而盡。學生聽后表示非常欽佩亞力山大的勇敢,老師和聽課的家長也很高興孩子們理解了教育材料中的主旨,稱贊孩子們聰明,但真實的理解卻與此大相徑庭,盧梭通過一些提問弄明白了孩子真正的認識:不久前,這個孩子自己也吃過藥,藥味很大,他費了很大力氣才吃下,聽說亞歷山大果斷吞下難吃的藥,他認為他很勇敢,這里的勇敢僅僅止于忍受藥難吃的層面而已,至于中毒和死亡,在孩子的理解中只是簡單的不愉快而已。孩子理解的此“勇敢”遠非大人理解的彼“勇敢”。孩子學會大人的言辭很容易,但真正理解大人的觀念,則實非易事。傳道授業,一味地搶跑,很可能會“種瓜得豆”。也正是因為這樣的原因,盧梭不贊成用寓言教育孩子。他認為“童年是理智的睡眠期”。當然,盧梭看法也不一定就是正確的,寓言的形式也可以考慮,但在進行思想品德教育前,一定要注意孩子對教育資源的理解是否與我們成年人有偏差。

    孩子有孩子活潑奔放的思維路徑,大人有大人拘泥呆板的思維定式,如果我們不首先去真實地理解孩子,甚至嘗試著去做一個孩子,很可能我們對兒童的教育效果就是想當然的,很多教育目標是我們一廂情愿的預想,實施起來未必如愿,甚至有時還會南轅北轍。再完美的藍圖、規劃,可能也不如因勢利導。另外,孩子所受的教育,很多也在我們的有意“設計”之外,常常在點滴的滲透中,常常在潛移默化的影響里,不言之教在時時處處發生,但也最容易被忽略。“教育即生活”“生活即教育”,各種理論不同,精真之處相通。

    其實,從另一個角度想,當孩子不能“配合”我們的設計思路時,當我們的課程或活動“弄巧成拙”地出現了“旁逸斜出”的意外時,當我們的教育目標落空時,也正是我們接受當頭棒喝、反躬自省的好時機。一個好的教育者可以借此時機更好地理解兒童,找到更有效的教育方式。

    《人民教育》雜志2019年第9期

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